Board: /r9k/
"/r9k/ - ROBOT9001" is a board for hanging out and posting greentext stories.
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.
1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So,
your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the
eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/ Do not post pictures of yourself on /r9k/.
Do not post threads asking for pictures of other users.
All "rate me" and camwhoring threads belong on /soc/.
>>>/soc/ Roasties hate him, because he tells the truth. Virgin, no friends, getting dumb as hell and literally retarded from lack of learning anything new or having relationships with anyone. This is a tough night, one we dread the most. I can't bear this much longer but I've been saying that forever. Just wishing for cancer now >ywn be a househusband to a gentle femdom mommy gf
Why live? >take hrt
>super smooth, acne btfo, hairline will never recede
literally what is the downside to this >only match with titless girls on tinder/bumble
>am only attracted to milk trucc girls
>still end up dating/fucking them
>tfw use viagra/cialis to stay hard
Anyone else know this feel? little bro and i get into a scrap and he pulls out a fucking kitchen knife. i know he didnt have the balls to use it so i punched him real hard, little fag needs to understand not to pull out a knife if you dont plan on using it and also on your brother One day I will watch this movie with a girl Are you actively persuing said aspirations/ambitions in life What's stopping people from going to a ghost town and turning it into a regular town? Over 400 hours of nofap, of unbroken masturbation abstention, lads.
I feel like a gladiator. I feel like a king, ngl...
But now I want to feel like a god. Anyone else here not want to have sex because it would be too complicated?
Feels like I would have to be a legendary master to get a girl off and given I have had no experience these 26 years I've been in this planet, feels like no point in even trying Good ofd fashioned woman hate thread Writing fiction and hiking is the only thing keeping me sane. Maybe if I write well I will be remembered or maybe not.
Does anyone else write fiction? and what do you write about? tiny scottish lassy that britfeel is obsessed with edition 
Whenever my friend gets a gf, he no longer has any time to hang out with me. He just disappears, because doing gf things is more fun.
He also becomes a lot happier and energetic. You can tell he suffers from every second of his inceldom, just like me - except that I can't end mine, he can.
But my issue is that whenever he gets a gf, it's like he plays for team pussy from then on. He's an autist deep down but he starts acting like a different person, like he was pretending to be a normie. Whenever I see him with his gf, they often crack jokes at my weirdness and I can tell my friend has shared stuff to her I don't want to be shared. The way I see it, they bond by ridiculing me. My friend is just as weird and autistic as I am, but to his gf he pretends he's normal and I'm the only weird one.
And yeah this is pretty much why I can't be happy for my friend. Because him becoming happy means my life starts sucking so much more.
I've been single for 10 years, it's the hardest thing a man can deal with. >be me
>eating quesadilla
>take bite
>cheese string appears
>push my teeth into to snap it
>it snaps but recoils
>hits my eye
Pic rel /r9k/, all jokes aside, why is it so hot to me when a girl/woman cuts herself?
Self-harm scars are my biggest turn ons >be me
>in uni
>in a fb chat with classmates
>establish contact with some bloke
>we discuss our assessment and mutual assist each other
>he has no profile pic
>over semester build a mental image of him
>end of semester I send him a friend request
>see his face
>its not what I thought it was
Why did that feel so weird? $46,618.05 between savings and investments. Feels good boys. >be alone for years
>even lonelier during corona
>hang out with friends for a few hours once
>havent felt that happy for a very very long time
>now back to the usual loneliness
it never ends does it? Why do fat girls want skinny boys? >father located the cock compressor
it's fucking over I can type 200WPM and multiple girls have asked me to finger them just out of curiosity of what it would feel like because of the pure speed of my fingers. Ask me anything. Honest question /r9k/. Can being an incel for so long give you autogynephilia? Why are there no longterm studies on the effects of male virginity on the brain? I think years of loneliness has twisted my desire for a girlfriend into embodying those feminine attributes myself.
>inb4 just get a girlfriend
>inb4 discord shill Keeping it real with the mbti thread you've all been lusting over. Take test; find out which fucking hilarious meme character you are; post about it in this thread. Not so hard now is it?
>tests
https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
https://sakinorva.net/functions
http://keys2cognition.com/explore.htm
https://www.michaelcaloz.com/personality/
http://jung.test.typologycentral.com/ >tfw pigeon chested
I never stood a god damn chance.
Although in my case it isn't that bad or noticeable unless I'm wearing something like a t-shirt but fuck did it screw with my head when I was a teenager, I still can't even image taking my shirt off in the presence of a woman and letting her know visually that I have a genetic deformity. Can't wait to get home, sleep, order some Thai food, and drink some beer. I fucking hate working - especially night shifts. Your fucking days are limited capitalism how is this physiologically possible?
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5fdf87faacf79
they upload frequently, so its not like the dude is saving up for weeks on end just for a video Even if she will come back
Nothing would ever be as good
Its all ruined forever Everyone is better than me Why waking up?
Every morning the same shit
Porcocane post internet speeds in dis thread >Go to a party
>"oh man I never get invited to these this is great!"
>Overhead crush making fun of me
>Devastated
>Leave early
>After hours of moping I grow a set and block her number
>Few days go by
>Cops at my door
>Welfare check
>She couldn't contact me for days so just assumed I ended it
I get one (1) social interaction and it goes like this Have you guys ever jerked off standing up?
It's better than jerking off laying/sitting down, try it why is making/keeping frens so hard? Anyone tried NoFap and saw any differences? I'm not talking about the high and mighty bullshit benefits that everyone praises about, but instead actual mental/psychological ones that any of you robots may have experienced. I'm tempted to jump wagon, but I don't want to if its just a fucking meme. fuck this
>first achieve something, and then you'll have a queue of girls waiting for you because of your VALUE
bullshit, i feel so empty and so hungry without basic human aspect, i don't have a drive for doing things, its fucking hard for me to wake up and get out of the bed, i have nobody to live for and can't stand everybody having their source of momentum
at this moment im not sure if I can break this vicious circle Life is just one long NPD moment. >finally start dating a guy for the first time ever
>met him on an /r9k/ server
>we've been sending each other pictures
>found out last week that he's a feeder, and he only dated me because he "saw potential in my body"
>said stuff like "oh, you don't have to gain that much, 50 lbs would be fine" and that he'd pay for all of my food
>started sending me pictures of James Bond for some reason
What the fuck is wrong with you people? I would like to talk to a girl (female). Just out of curiosity those of you that consider themselves as ugly bastards, where do you live? And are some of you gay for boy butt? Welcome to the Pale Girls Thread
Please post pale girls.
That is all. >parents forced me in an IB school
>fucking up all my classes
>realize I'm stupid and should not be here >try to see a psych
>they clearly doesn't take me serious
>they give me the same advice one would give a sad child
Oh shit, I feel stupid now.
Has this ever happened to you, anon? Misato is the best Eva girl. Asuka and Rei and Kaworu can't compete. >have to pay 20% of my monthly wage every week to fuck a hooker
>can't refuse as I am falling into deepest depression without her
>can't really afford it
what do So I've been told girls like older men. I'm in my third year of college and i'm taking a first year subject. Will this age difference give me an advantage? What are vehicles you think are extremely cool looking? >think about approaching girl
>remember I have a small dick
>forget about approaching girl i don't smoke weed because I get terrible anxiety from it although it's not as bad as when I take psychedelics, which are regarded as more intense. One tiny hit from a bowl and I'm transported into some hell scape whereas an eighth of shrooms mellows me out and gives me perspective on things. why is that? https://voca.ro/1jF6nGj4RLyTM Me on /r/unpopularopinion:
>"People who get murdered for cheating on their spouse were kinda asking for it"
>Post deleted, permabanned from subreddit
Me on /r/legaladvice:
>Woman describes scenario, asks if it was rape
>"Well when he initiated you went along, and you never expressed that you didn't consent"
>"Sex that you regret isn't rape, so no that wasn't rape."
>Everyone: "Are you seriously blaming a rape victim for her own rape?!"
>Comment deleted, permabanned from sub
Me on /r/lifeprotips:
>"Hey all, your mental health issues might be caused by a vitamin deficiency"
>You should check your diet to see if you're deficient in Vitamin D or magnesium, etc"
>Everyone: "Wow sweaty are you really blaming depressed people for their own mental illness? Literally Hitler."
>Post deleted, not permabanned (yet)
I feel sorry for these Redditors. Definition of snowflakes. Fembots, what are your BARE MINIMUM requirements to date somebody (preferably off of r9k or 4chan in general)?
Not an ideal partner thread. We know our ideals don't truly exist in the way we want. Just what would a bare minimum of physical and emotional characteristics would be date-able to you. the DS version of graze the roof is the best piece of music to ever exist and always will be Are egirls needed in a server??? If you were offered the opportunity to advance science by going through an irreversible procedure that would shrink you to a few inches tall, would you take it? >haha bro did you see anon's face when I slapped his gfs ass right in front of him? He didn't do anything the pussy. She added me to Snapchat later that night We gave y'all all y'alls technology What is the longest amount of time you've been without sleep? I think I might kill myself soon. I keep pushing people away even though I care about them.
Is it better to push people away or to keep them close? What do you think is wrong with society today? How can we fix it? I am soon to be chrismated into the Orthodox Church. I have finally found peace and happiness in Jesus Christ. I encourage you all to do the same, find something spiritually significant at the very least if you want to be happy. May God bless you all. I have no experience sexuality so I am unironically entitled to a zoomer virgin. He must be a virgin too and inexperienced like me. Previous thread OD'd
My brain feels like mush. How are the rest of you doing? Any neets around? What will you do once your parents die and you have no income left? Tell me what you think of me edition
Raw, real, beautiful, painful, just fuckin do it What's that thing you did or said that keeps you up at night? That social or career mistake that you still think about.
Lets share and try and get some closure. Is Tinder really the worst place to try and finding a girlfriend? I quite like women even in spite of their flaws is ai dungeon healthier than porn? instead of watching naked woman gets banged for few minutes and cumming, I chat with an AI, writing a story in which I am banging a woman or I as a woman get banged by other men or in threesome or incest or whatever I fucking want, and sometimes I am edging for 3 hours straight, writing my deepested desired scenarios
what are the odds than I am fucking my brain that way This is the "great" country of America... 
NEET/Hikikomori Thread
Why are you a NEET/Hikikomori?
>NEET
>The acronym for (Not In Education Employment Or Training)
>Hikikomori
>Hikikomori is a Japanese term when translated into English it means pulling inward being confined (Acute social withdrawal) Hikikomori is a distinct social condition that refers to the phenomenon of reclusive adolescents and young adults who have withdrawn from society seeking extreme degrees of isolation and confinement due to various personal social cultural and psychological issues in their lives
>Contrary to popular belief most hikikomori go outdoors but are just isolated socially and still spend most of the day and nearly every single day confined at home in their rooms
>The Japanese Ministry of Health, Labour, and Welfare defines hikikomori as a condition in which the affected individuals refuse to leave their parents house, do not work or go to school and isolate themselves away from society and their family in a single room for a period exceeding six months
>The Hikikomori Criteria and Diagnosis
>1. Subject spends most of the day confined at home, nearly every single day.
>2. Subject purposefully avoids social situations and social relationships
>3. Subject shows clear significant functional impairment,
>4. Subject shows social withdrawal symptoms for .a duration of 6 months or more
>5. Subject has no physical condition nor other severe psychological problem that is the cause of the social withdrawal (Mainly excluding those with psychotic disorders such as schizophrenia)
>While hikikomori is mostly only a Japanese phenomenon cases of the condition have been found in other countries
People who work are receiving an education or have a social life are NOT hikikomori.
All hikikomori are by definition NEET but not all NEETs and recluses are hikikomori
People who work are receiving an education or are in vocational training are NOT a NEET Do you ever just feel bad, man? If you think about all the comments you have made on message boards, at least one of them has to have been a female, but it on 4chan or reddit or some other cesspool of depravity, at least one of my comments must have been directed at a female. I should shower but I don't feel like it Hi CCP
enjoyed the cruise? when did you start hating women? and I mean truly hating women. >teacher assigns you a female partner
>coom pants in excitement Provided you possess the skills to do so, would you hunt down serial killers and "beat" them at their own game? post things that make you nostalgic or something Or do you just say you do to protect our egos? blacks make up 16% of the trannies >be NEET
>get to be nude all day in the comfort of my room
>walk to the bathroom bare ass naked when my parents are asleep
>sometimes even the kitchen
Bros, the nudepill is truly liberating How do we deal with INFP males? They contribute nothing to society. They make the least amount of money out of all the mbti personality types and they cry all day and are depressed. They probably have AvPD. Do they have some type of brain damage or something. What do you think about your nigger males doing this? Guys seem to be more fascinated with cocks than girls are Waifu thread because why not? > mfw I find out they are a tranny
How the fuck do I get better at spotting online trannies? What the fuck. Not interested in cock, so I want don't want to waste my time or theirs.
I think I subconsciously know though because I didn't get hard either time. I still got baited twice. kek Anyone here have any experience with brain damage? I would love to do something like boxing but I have a huge fear of getting CTE and sounding like I have a mouth full of cotton balls.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KAI6Yu--7s Do you remember your first heartbreak? What was your worst one? how do i learn to be assertive in pursuit of women?
feminist propaganda when I was a kid and lack of strong male role model led to me being unable to truly understand the submissive nature of women.
My brain just can't wrap my head around that they like to be told what to do etc Robots, answer this as well. when you make an onlyfans account, you have to add a card even if you're only making one to follow girls with free content. they charge you 10 cents and it shows up in your statement as "onlyfans". the worst part though is that you have to send them a picture of Identification along with a selfies. who in the FUCK would actually do this? I feel completely abnormal not because I'm a lonely hermit and can't get a girlfriend, but because I'm completely fine with my solitude. There is absolutely zero supressed/unsupressed depression about my situation like so many others here seem to have. I'm not lonely. I absolutely love my life and that's fucking weird. The longer you stay alone, the longer your future wife is fucking other men. Who's your favorite ASMRtist? CRISPY HAS BULGEY WOLGEY?!! :o MEGA OWO First ever post here. 19 yo autist from Morocco ask me what you want I thought nofap was a meme. I haven't coomed in 10 days and already feeling better, energetic. Though not much motivated or ambitious Why is everyone turning into a dog whistling conservative?
I dont get what attracts you to an idea that lets you be a piece of shit.
>conservative
>imperialist
>capitalist
>nationalist
>protects white culture
>confederate
>terry davis fan
>hates niggers
>assimilates subcultures
>bootlicker
why do you inflict suffering with your idea? Have any of you actually found a relationship through 4chan?
I see so many anons going on about
>tfw no femanon gf
So I'm curious if any of you have success stories.
If you do, please greentext how it happened and how you are currently doing.
Failed attempts at relationship stories are also welcome if you want to share. holy shit why am i so superior to everyone >tfw a fren probably stole my guitar picks
>tfw they are too cheap to mention it but another source of frustration is real anyway just found this funny new wojak
based 
So lets say that there is only one way to succeed in life.
>The "best" way to be healthy - for a human body
>The "best" way to be smart - for a human brain
>The "best" way to earn money - in a specific environment.
>The "best" way to get good grades - in the school system.
>etc.
So... some people pick it up naturally growing up. Some people have the right guidance maybe from having driven parents. And some people do things their own way - but end up not succeeding because they missed out on the "best" strategies.. At the end of the day - we all end up as boring adults - busy optimizing every facet of our lives. Trying to be the best at every "dimension" of life (health, looks, finances), and hating ourselves whenever we waste even a moment of precious time...
But if you look at children - they don't even care about competition. They each go off and do their own thing, happily. It is only later in life that someone, SOMEONE betrays this harmony. Some child that realizes: "what if I was better than the other children?" And so he becomes the first person to hurt the others. Hurt their peace of mind. Hurt their self esteem. And then after a domino effect... some 20 years later, they all too end up as boring adults. Never again wanting to be in last place, or outdone, by someone else. Lifting weights, gaining money, breaking hearts, and looking deeply in the mirror trying to find purpose.
Isn't this a sad universe that we live in?
Why can't those who decided to make life a competition - be sent to hell where they belong, and leave the others in peace?
I think if there is a God that is exactly what he is going to do. Successfully snuck out of my house at 1AM, walked to 7/11, got alcohol, and returned without alerting anyone Lucid dreaming is when you are concious of your dreams and often means you can try to control it as well
Lucid Dreaming can help you...
>meet waifu
>sex on recruit difficulty
>experiment socially with no consequences
>do risky things in public in a dream
>practice conversation/socializing
im not doing as good lucid dreaming wise than I used too
I'm having a harder time falling asleep for WBTB than before so much so I cannot do WBTB anymore
AMA >gf #1 after 2 years: "I'm not in love with you anymore"
>gf #2 after 2 months: "don't think this is working out"
>gf #3 after 5 years: "I can't offer you what you need"
>gf #4 after 2 months: "it's me, not you" (quite literally)
If I don't belong here, where the fuck DO I belong?
Any other robots like me exist? How the fuck have you accepted being continuously insufficient to the ones you love? >discuss uni
any /EE/ anons here? Is it worth to go into or should I stick to CS? How do normal people make friends in college? JEWS, YOU MAY HAVE INVADED MY COCK AND MY BALLS BUT THERES ONE THING AN IMPROOVER ALWAYS KEEPS, HIS CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM I shave my balls with a double edged blade razor. The razors are the cheapest possible $6 for 100, they cut the hair and not my skin. Perfect, soft, balls >Be me
> fapping everything's going good >decide to grab my pocket pussy open it up
>forgot that I creampied it the last time I used it
>erection immediately dies as rancid cum drips onto my stomach with a disgusting decaying animal smell
>spend 5 minutes cleaning it out with the fucking rancid smell almost making me want to vomit >now I don't feel like fapping
I'm never cream pieing ever again I basically determined if a woman exists she already has a boyfriend. Every time. Single women don't exist. >it's another drinking at nearly 6 AM episode Mfw I recently discovered repressed childhood memories
I'm still kind of in shock. Although I don't think it affected me psychologically. >be me
>be 20 year old cyborg
>not too bad looking, dont eat shit 24/7, lift a bit everyday
>bored
>idea
>go on omegle
>put in some basic shit tags that i know will link me up with zoomer e-thots
>whenever i find one, put on my normie face for a bit, make them feel flattered
>the second they feel comfortable, I activate my secret autism
>ask them about their "aesthetic" or whatever shit
>they droll on for about a minute explaining how they're "pixie goth" or whatever shit
>after, say: "oh, so its like that e-girl thing?"
>hedidnotjustsaythat.exe
>femtards immediately enrage
>they HATE being catagorised under such a general term, it takes away their snowflake status
>they get pissy, start with the "um no sweetie..."
>point directly at the camera
>begin chanting "E-GIRL, E-GIRL!"
>being exposed like this by someone who looks like a normie sends them into a fury
>laugh my ass off and disconnect to find the next vapid bitch to become my victim So say if one of us bought a 30 foot sailboat, and filled it with supplies. A crew of able bodied men and their gfs. Could we sail to some Island realistically and start a NEET colony? I'm thinking of saving up for one when I get a min wage slave job and have considered some islands, habited or uninhabited. we could load up on various cash crops and start a NEET meritocracy based economy where you only work when you want and you can always half ass the job. he just loved his brother and wanted to protect him >spending 30 minutes thinking about what thread you should make
>realize that you have no ideas
>still want to make a thread
>mfw Each week is 1.92 percent of a year? That sounds like a lot Having a gf isn't all it's cracked up to be, robots. It's a LOT of fucking work for little reward and isn't very fulfilling. You're probably better off just pursuing your own creative interests, and if you're really socially inclined, trying to find male friends who share your interests. What are some principals you'll teach your future kids? (assuming you find partner and make baby at some point) >Hands up, hand over the fembot gf now! Are you broke? Post your age and bank balance in this thread.
>23
>Dollarydoos Why do a lot of people even consider traps and femboys to be gay? Stop lumping femboys with muscular fags Give me something to be sad about, /r9k/. Just watched 5 centimeters per second and I'm in the mood.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcRlGlu199o&list=PLsDW0H0beY9an2CMpDFfJXzJmYY-gjh_J&index=58 What made it so good according to you anons? https://openarena.ws
OpenArena is a free shooter from the late 2000s that used to be alive and fun but nobody plays anymore. I've set up an /r9k/ server, pic related. Let's shoot the shit while we shoot each other. am i the only one that wants mickey mouse to tie me down and rail me until my vagina rips to become one with my asshole? what sound do you think mickey mouse makes when he cums? I got a qt Italian pick me girl whose genuinely funny and interesting and has slight conservative values but isn't a /pol/tard and acts like a normal fucking person.
I made it guys. I'll be leaving this board forever now.
>inb4 see you tomorrow
let me fucking cope faggot. 
When you are a person as blank and boring and uninteresting as me then they trust you. They dont certainly treat me kindly they treat no one kindly. They certainly don't love themselves. When you are boring an inanimate like a rock. What do rocks dream about. But you do nothing wrong, and people do not like you, and they desire to not associate with you. They well enough cant say they are going to distance themselves from you because you are a rapist and murderer because you're not and theres no proof either, or reason to suspect that in any case. They will give their reasons why they will not associate with you. But you are inanimate and a rock and have no personality and are uninteresting and blank and boring. Really all you did was nothing. So they have to give you a reason to not like you. So you sort of have to listen to how they gossip about you, they have to be bold enough to talk to your face about what they think about you, for you to really understand. Then you can understand. So then they will be very specific about how you are wrong, even though you are like a rock. Life really only exists in the conscious mind. Once you are dead you might as well be a rock. Minds are faulty and not as fast as the other and full of delusions and bad ideas at best. It takes longer for people to find certain truths than it takes for us to live full lifetimes. What do we do in the meantime except for delude ourselves. You hear the boldest people who cringe at your pathetic rock like existence who really do not want to exist themselves its never good enough is it. Listen to it and take it for your advantage. >government declares racism, sexism, homophobia and antisemitism a mental disorder
>gets put in mental hospital
>all minority and foreign doctors are bullied to leave
>all mental hospitals become more based
>mental hospitals around the world become minor ethnocitystates filled with pcm and /pol/ users
>mental hospitals rise to power to from their thriving industry of creating water filters, offensive memes and stealing (((bankers))) gold.
I see no problem with this. Why am I the friend who always calls to check up on people? What the fuck is wrong with everybody. If I didn't followup with people I feel like I'd have maybe 1 friend left. If you could say something to (a) Chad or ask him a question, what would it be robo friends? Do you look at archived threads on Desuarchive? Looking for friends to play GTA 5 and study science with. Post steam if interested. returned from another night of aimlessly walking the streets of england, hoping something happens to me, good or bad. nothing happened, it never does. You've been lied to about asian women. They are functionally identical to white women. Any problems you have with your typical western white woman also apply to asian women. They are not pure, and any appearance of such is a shallow facade that disappears upon any further investigation. This becomes apparent upon any sustained interaction with one of them. i hate my mom. hopefully she kicks the bucket in her sleep tonight. any fellow bots wanna play some portal 2?
https://steamcommunity.com/id/SyndromeSamurai/
just add me or whatever >be me
>haven't made physical contact with another person in a year
>only play video games with friends I haven't seen since then
>hate anime
>hate quirky things
>hate wholesome things
>can't stand cute things in general
Maybe I'm just lonely and these things evoke feelings which resemble the feelings of closeness when with friends and loved ones.
I'm not happy anons, I just want a hug :( Is being an autistic turbomanlet a valid reason to kill myself P: 0 other user on this page
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