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Board: /r9k/

"/r9k/ - ROBOT9001" is a board for hanging out and posting greentext stories.

Welcome to /r9k/
robot overlord
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.

1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
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Do not post pictures of yourself on /r9k/.
Do not post threads asking for pictures of other users.

All "rate me" and camwhoring threads belong on /soc/.

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why don't you find a nice christian girl?
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Why are azn grls so mean to azn bois?
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Is this a scam? About to fuck a black hooker. Is this usually how it goes
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britfeel february night
Giving all the Apus in Britfeel Towers pancakes for dinner edition
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>girl I've been seeing convinced me to eat her ass last night
>there was a little bit of unwiped shit on her inner ass cheek
>smelled abhorrent, didn't want to embarrass her and tongued her asshole lightly till she wanted to fuck while trying extremely hard not to touch the shit
>tfw she wants to meet again this weekend and I can't stop thinking about how disgusted I was

What do I do
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Waifu General /waifu/ #306
waifu annihilating you in paintball edition

1. Talk about your waifu/husbando
2. Be devoted to your one and only waifu/husbando
3. Let waifuism improve your life
4. Be nice!
5. Have a great time!

previous thread: >>56876932
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what do fembots listen to?
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White men cannot be robots.
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Why are fembots so hated?
Im genuinely curious, i grew up in a neighborhood with mostly female youth, only me and my brother were boys. You guys make it seem like a conspiracy, when you clearly over thought it.

>Women want everything for free
So does every red blooded creature on the food chain
>They are all sluts they just fuck around
Ok thats a solid point but sluts are an exception not the norm.
>Women don't love men
Robot, your mother loves/loved you, shes female.

Overall there is 1 simple issue with women, they don't know what they want, they want a man. Go shopping with a girl, when you do she will say
>Robot i will just check 1 thing
But she will check around everywhere and spend hours if she can.

Thats the female mentality, they will search for the best thing, a man is a leader, he knows what she wants and thats either a dress or a jacket.

>inb4 cock carousel marriage

Im not even implying you to get married, im implying you get a girl and grow the fuck up and become a man and put your damn foot down.
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I finished University 9 months ago and have been unemployed ever since. I finished as being one of the top students in my graduating class, worked as a Teacher's Assistant for three diffrent courses in my last semester and had some internship experince. I got severly depressed around July and just starting to recover now.

I can't apply for jobs in my field because of my employment gap along with the competitiveness here in toronto. I personally know guys with STEM degrees working minimum wage jobs.

I can't apply to retail or Mcdonalds because they tell me they know I will leave them in a few months ( which is true). I honestly feel hopeless, I'm 23 years old living with my parents, no money a degree but zero prospects.

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Seriously though, what would you do?
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If the system demands that people reject natural human survival behavior because those behaviors would damage the system if employed on a large scale, then it is the SYSTEM that is wrong. Not biology. Forcing humans to cater to a society that cannot exist when humans act like real human beings is the worst possible system in existence. This is not the best system we have right now, it is the worst system we have right now.
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I've never received male attention, ama
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Self Improvement Thread
I'm about to work out right now. How is the self imptovement going?
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>whatu you say aboud azun dicksu anoon?
>you carr dem smarr?
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Sweet angels
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I want to help my mom with groceries but i dont know what to buy or what we need.
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I'm a genius and I figured out how to manipulate women.
>have group of female friends
>3 always flirt with me but I really only want one
>she plays hard to get and ignores me however
>other girl isn't that smart but is really cute, I flirt with her and tease her all the time
>girl that I want gets extremely jealous when I do that
>when I flirt with the dumb one, the one I want tries to win me over
I'm going to keep flirting with the dumb one until I get the girlfriend I desire. Is this chad or no
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30 plus
32 yo alkie, just went to AA then bought beer afterward

can barely get an erection with all the psych meds im on

decent job, apartment, car
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Asian fembots get in here. How's your dating life like?
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20 pills left is it enough to end me ?
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I've literally never heard any good come from Disord. It's all mentally ill cliques and hate crusades and weird campaigns. I've never heard of people doing anything positive and coming together through discord.
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Screen Shot 2020-02-21 at 4.06.53 PM
Do you stop dreading your existence as soon as you wake up?
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Good morning my fellow drug users, what drugs are you all on?
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Lonely friends, come join us for a chat in our Telegram /r9k/ group.

No Roasties and thots allowed, thots will be banned
Incels NEETs preffered

Come frienns
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post yourself as an ideal bf/gf
rate others
have fun
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Don't blame women
Women are actually the best indicator if you are living your life right.

Women only choose strong men. That's why chad always has girls. He has his good looks because of years of hard work on his body. It shows willpower.
You are a twink or a balding manlet? You can still become successful in your job. Women are as attracted to high status as they are to chad.
You become successful, you will get a woman, no matter how you look.

You can't get a gf, you can't get laid? That's your own fault. Work on yourself, show that you are powerful and able to achiever something and every man will be attractive to a woman.
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What's the longest you've gone without talking?
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Why not give a single mom a chance?

White kid, btw.
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>Be me
>Try to ditch porn
>Go for pictures instead to stop watching porn gradually
>Teen pics site
>Mmkay, they look 18-19 and are not even naked in the pics or cover their boobs
>Today remembered this site so went back
>Fap to multiple opened pics in different tabs
>After a while I open another batch of pics from thumbnails I cant see too well
>2 or 3 of those pics were of girls around the age of 13 - 16 in erotic poses

Am I fucked? I am shitting bricks because I am not even a pedo and I opened those pictures without knowing whos on them.
I know for a fact that in my cuckropean country its even illegal to SEE cp (as in open a web page with it) but I guess it was by mistake so I should be good? And it wasnt even cp, but surely erotic, one had bare chest and was covering it with her arms.
Am I fucked? I wish I never stopped watching porn at least its all legal. How probable was it that they have this site to catch pedos and saw my IP there and will hunt me? I mean all the other shit was definately legal.

And I wont give you the name of the site, its a big site though and seems it was up for over a decade now.
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Like midwest emo?
Like indie music/alternative rock/folk?
Like extremely depressing shit?
Then check this fire ass EP out!
Not gonna lie it's pretty garbage but who cares!
soundcloud,com/elevenelevenshxt/sets/houseplants Replace the , thanks. If you check it out I'll tell you the sauce of the photo!
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What anime character have you fapped to the most?

Generic as it is, probably Asuka, there's something about her design I love (also I have a latex fetish that the plugsuit satisfies)
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These past some odd years have been a dream. You wake up tomorrow and it's January 26th, 2013. How do you respond
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/VRG/ Virgin robot general #19
Last thread here >>56885019
A thread by and for virgins. Fags and tr*nnoids should be round up to concentration camps
>thread theme of discussion
How is your social life? Do you have close people other than family members? Discuss

>No non-virgins allowed.
>No faggots
>no trannies
Rule breakers should be rightfully ignored
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Hey guys I don't like masturbate anymore do I have a problem?
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How much do you value money? Would you do something you hated if you got paid a lot for it? I cannot stand my line of work but being a consultant, on a day rate, would get me about 80,000 GBP for 6 months work, but I hate it. It makes me so stressed. What I love to do is work with at my local stable as a volunteer but as a career choice, it obviously pays like shit, but it makes me happy. The day goes by so fast. I might just grind out the thing I hate for a couple years and try to get as much money as I can and then quit. Then I can focus on what I like.
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My 4.5 inch girth is so emasculating. Pic related is NOT me, but is basically my dick. I will never be happy in this body.
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What does loneliness feel like? Never in my life have I felt a need for companionship.
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I'v had enough. Can you normalfags fuck off and die? Stop obsessing about faggots begging for attention
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>tfw warded for 12 weeksu already
Were you ever in a psych ward? If yes for how long? If no what do you think for how long would you get warded?
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>Be me at huge street party
>Friend i'm with finds some girls and start dancing with them and we join their group
>I can't dance and have nothing to talk about with those strangers
>feel like I'm a ghost or as if i'm not an actual person like everyone else, can't relate to them at all

But really, i'll never go out to social events again unless sheltered by a group of friends and aquaitances.
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I found some logs of wood but I'm not sure what type of wood it is. What do ?
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If you are black you cannot be incel
Being a black man in America is life on easy mode for pussy. White girls of GenZ absolutely adore black men and see have a black boyfriend as being high status. Even latina and Asian women are beginning to get on the BBC train. While 90% of black women are black man exclusive. Black guys are hoarding all the pussy. While most zoomer white boys are looked down upon by all girls (especially The white girls) for being racist oppressors
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Why do normal "people" with friends, families and kids even bother coming here? For individuals in possesion of normal functioning brains, there is nothing of valie for you on this site. Even reading websters dictionary is more interesting. Go and do something better with your time because you have access to happiness while we dont.
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Does anon wear pantsu that covers his willy?
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Does anyone else here want a girlfriend who has no social life and is clingy? Because i live in WA its impossible to find one. I dont like sharing a girls attention with anyone else and want to be the most important person in her life. I want her to worship me and do whatever I say. Currently i pursue a main hobby of origami folding and would love to teach her origami up to the complex designs like ryujin 3.5.
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How can I be as cool as Uchiha Madara irl?
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So something came to my attention that Mayli

>pic related

Did a porn shoot a few days after she turned 18, shes the daughter of a rich goldmann sachs VP. how can she get face fucked on camera, vomiting on dicks etc. Proper humiliating stuff. at 18??

Was she a sociopath? just wanting to get back at daddy? etc

Like Im uncomfortable taking my shirt off in public. No way is it normal to do something like this and feel no fear or worries about it. Or regret it whilst its happening. Whats the deal?
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How unnatractive I am to men if I have huge boobs but a very mediocre butt?
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advanced incel
>A group of high functioning autistic men and women were evaluated and compared with healthy controls to assess their sexual and relationship desires and success/failure to achieve those desires.
>Autistic men were found to masturbate more and have a greater desire for a relationship than normal neurotypical (NT) men. However, only 16% of autistic men were in a relationship while 82% of NT men were in a relationship. NT men were 5x more likely to be in a relationship than their autistic counterparts.
>Autism did not so greatly reduce women's ability to find relationships with men, as 46% of women were able to have relationships, while only 16% of men were. It was also noted that Female ASD individuals were significantly younger at time of first sexual intercourse (then males with ASD).
Truth is, the game was rigged from the start.
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checkered shirt
John Oliver is the living embodiment of reddit. Anyone who likes this unfunny garbage is a disgusting normalfag.
And no I'm not even a Republican so don't give me that crap.
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Is it normal to want a mommy gf that will also pretend to be my mom?
It's all I can think of anymore.
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mbti 16p
16personalities is bad but not useless edition

>question of the thread:
what type has the hardest time fitting into modern day life and why? which has the easiest?

what's your MBTI type, /r9k/?
>NEW official r9k poll: (embed) (embed)

>reading / wtf is this bullshit?:

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>/pol/ hates tattoos and piercings
>especially on woman
>they conveniently forget the ancestors they worship many had tattoos and piercings
>even some tribes had tattooed woman
when i lurk /pol/ this is one of the things that bothered me. they always look at everything through the lens of judeo-christianity.
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>at psychiatrist office
>been waiting for over an hour even though i had an appointment
>finally get called back
>5 minute discussion just to get a new prescription and then sent out the door
>cant get a new psychiatrist, only one in my area that take my insurance

what the fuck? how am i supposed to find a medication that might help me if they wont even listen to me talk for more than a few minutes? this system is fucked
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So if there are dommes for pay and quite a few of them. Why are there almost no sub women for pay? Sub women are way more common. I wouldn't mind paying for a session with an experienced cute submissive girl.
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Why do people kiss with their tongue? This guy started using his tongue and tried to push my tongue out.
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Catholic Thread - Lent Preparation Edition
Christ Crucified by Velázquez
Hey everyone, I hope you all are having a good day so far. Feel free to ask any questions and share any stores related to Christianity.
I would like to encourage all Christians to please consider giving up somethings for lent or taking on some improvements. You don't need to be Catholic, many different churches practice lent, and even if you aren't a part of one of those, it is still a great time to make some improvements to your life. The following are some things to consider doing:
>Deepen your prayer life with the Lord, pray more frequently
>Pray the rosary every day
>Give up sugar/sweets/candy
>Eat less, fast or stop going out to eat as much
>Exercise every day, or maybe six days a week since Sundays aren't apart of lent and it's good to rest
>Stop using social media, all of it or just some websites
>Read the Bible every day, if you're Catholic perhaps try reading every day's mass readings
>Read some non-Biblical Christian books, devotions, proverbs, lives of the Saints, theology
>Deepen a devotion with a Saint, pray several Novenas throughout the season
>Memorize some prayers and pounder their meaning
>Join a Bible study
>Reach out to old friends, especially those who you think might need support or evangelization
Just a few ideas, please post any other suggestions or your plans for lent below.
Also if you are struggling with any sins, now is also a good time to try to put the ban on them.

If you are Catholic I really would encourage praying the rosary every day, it is something we really should do throughout the year but, now is a great time to start. I Chose this picture for today because it's the sorrowful mysteries. Remember if you are going through struggles that the Angle Gabriel said to Mary that she was full of grace and blessed among women, and the brutal death of her son is what she had to go through. As great as our sufferings can be the Lord has in store for us far greater graces.
Also make sure you go to mass this Ash Wednesday.
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big boi
Post me your racist memes,pic unrelated
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Why do normies have kids if they're poor/going to get divorced/are incompetent etc...?

The net amount of suffering in the world would decrease dramatically if only capable people had them.

Like holy shit normies can't raise a god damn thing.
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download (2)
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>modern w*man
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Imagine you add a fembot from a thread. You arent expecting much from it but for some reason you instantly click and you later find out from pics and videocalling that she is extremely qt. You talk everyday, play vidya together, laugh together and confide in each other. You start to fall in love with each other and make plans to meet up. Then one day, as you are videocalling with each other, she starts crying and tells you she has cancer. What do?
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This man slaps you on the ass and asks how your grades are in school what do?
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Would you date a girl that was taught to be a sexual object since childhood?
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letter thread
letter thread

it is happening again

write letters with initials to your lost loves, pets, schizophrenics, estranged contacts or yourself
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So this question popped in my mind and i wanted to ask here... can women have orgasms even though they're not excited? like let's say there's a wife who doesn't like her husband anymore, but they still have sex, would she have an orgasm just by getting the penis in her vagina, or would she be unable to orgasm, because she's not excited?
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How do I stop daydreaming
I procrasinated 2 whole days cuz of this and didnt learn for my physics test. I wasnt even playing games, or watching tv or some shit like that, I was just staring at the ceiling.

Some explanation:
>be me
>not really that much into anime but rather into creating stories
>daydream about making a shounen manga, though I have 0 drawing talent and I aint even japanese
>created a manga in my mind, with its entire world, characters and arcs
>every waking moment spent fulfilling this imaginery world
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Suddenly every machine stopped at once
And the monitors beeped the last time
Hundreds of thousands of hospital beds
And all of them empty but mine
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Do I have a tumor on my dick?? Is this from too much COOMING?
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When did you realize this phrase was associated with manchildren on this site?
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Would you feel better about immigration if you got to have sex with immigrant women?
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cocklust thread
It's been another day of endless edging. Wish I would just have someone to ravage my asshole and make me their bitch. Feels bad man. My desperation for cock grows stronger by the day.
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>be me at work
>boss is throwing a dinner party celebrating some achievement milestone
>we have a temporary guy on the team who is a part of some project for people with disabilities
>its obvious he has autism
>hes not even stupid, just awkward
>sometimes struggles to form sentences or understand sarcasm and things like that
>some of the girls i work with a low-key being mean
>mad at him because he is "annoying" and made a mistake or two
>i work with him enough to know they are just being bitches
>see him get a bit uncomfortable because of them and it makes me angry
>he keeps asking about the work dinner party
>i ask him if he wants to go
>take him to our boss so he can ask if he can go
>boss is okay with it
>come back and the girls are angry i did this
>didnt know this would be such an issue
>tell me all sorts of things about how he isn't really part of the team and that he would be really annoying at the dinner
>start to wonder why they are ever nice to me if they cant be nice to mr autismo (im awkward)

shit i thought we were just going to have a wholesome dinner party. i didn't know it was going to be some high school social club. now i dont even want to go myself, but if i dont then ILL be a target. its times like this i remember why i dont have a girlfriend despite being able to get one.
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>Lmao pathetic virgin
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alien liquid
Posting pictures of Q until I get an actual Q bf
Day 4: Bad feels galore
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i was just expelled from university for plagiarism it's getting really bad bros....
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So robots I left 4chan for a month and I found out that girls aren't apathetical and soulless cunts who want to divorce-rape me after have sold my semen in order to create other beta-orbiters and form an army of them. They are actually very nice
I trusted you but apparently you incels have lied to me
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Your overpriced globohomo resorts are no match for the combined power of the Hungarian Parliament Building
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Femanon here. First robot to get trips gets to have sex with me. Verification of tits/vagina will be provided to the lucky robot.
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why not settle for a femdom girlfriend?
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Failed my Driver Licence Test 2 weeks ago.
Tomorror is my next try.
Pls just wish me luck lads.
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germanons only
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where can i find 70s aesthetic girlfriend?
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why is there such a strong correlation between diaper fetishists fags and furfags?
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>look into trades
>most people are $19/hour beer n' cigarettes wageslaves that just work under someone to get by
>have to have a massive array of different skills and start a business to make any money
Is there really anything left?
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>drank non diet sodas for a few months because of asmongold


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Fuck that shit.

I wanna facefuck a fembot until she pukes all over my dick.
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Felix escaped!!!
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anyone else have literally 0 friends? I mean online and in real life? I hope i'm not the only one...
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How do I go from beta blackbot to horrorcore nigga without looking cringey?
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as I see leftists are encryptively defrauding me as attempts to defraud me adheres as attacks at me as my officers have to deter anyone adhering of encryption to defraud my estate as you default owing me for each attempt of encryption to defraud me as I am white and framed otherwise in adherence to defraud my properties as the Right has to assist law enforcement with the deterring of conspirators trying to adhere as a militant to defraud my estate as africans conspiring as an army they refer as Wakanda to defraud my estate are charged as enemies of the United States Government
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Question: if you had asthma during your childhood, can it go away or do you have it forever? And if it does go away, can it come back?
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why do people try to be mean?
Is there some sort of mental issue they have?
This happens all the time:
>get in discussion with someone online
>they immediately start attacking me, either because they disagree or find my situation unfortunate
>there efforts are futile; tell them they can't bother me or hurt my feelings unless they prove me wrong
>they refuse and insist on throwing insults, making up lies, posting easily debunked fallacious arguments
>reiterate my point that this strategy is a waste of time, demand they explain how I am wrong
>they continue desperately trying to hurt my feelings as I sit back confused about why they would care so much to do this, or think they could even hope to do so
I just don't understand. How can someone even justify spending their time doing this?
They act as if I care about their opinion, but they can't even explain how I am wrong so why should I care? Seems a bit like calling some 6'10" basketball player a manlet. How can you expect to cause him emotional distress?
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What makes robots the way they are?

>whats the most disgusting/fucked up thing you did/witnesses?

>Most emberassing moment of your live?

>Worst thing you've ever done to another human being?
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/doomer general/
doomer stubble
post music and tell us your story
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Why do nonwhites always berate me for "benefiting" from colonialism and such? Like what am I supposed to, how am I supposed to not "benefit" from things, even if they're true.
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How do you really hurt a woman emotionally? What are things you can say or do to them to make them seeth with rage? How do you break their resolve and turn them into the villain in the eyes of others before they try to do the same to you?

It's time to beat them at their own games.
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>Parents think I'm some kind of genius because I'm good in school and a square
>Despite having to work twice as hard as most people while having no social life or skills
>They think I'll be some fucking boss while in reality I'll be a worker because I'm stupid
just fuck off, I don't care about getting married so fuck off with that, I don't even have friends, I'll just give you the money that I get and then neck myself.
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>Father comes over
>While making coffee i tell him about the women desperately trying to get to my apartment for a coffee, offering me house, weed, money, alcohol etc.
>i laugh
>he laughs
>he says that i am a whores actor and thats why they like me so much

Anyone else whores actor? How has been your life? Did you also reject just about everyone?
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fren finder
time for a friend finding thread. you know how it works.
Miami, Poland#3772
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i need Brooke to fart over my tongue
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Take the bisexual pill
Girls love it if you tell them you're bi and it makes you so much more attractive to them. Roasties figured it out a long time ago: bisexuality earns you attention. Be bisexual for Chad and eat pussy while Chad watches and he'll keep you around.

Girls are the same: they love a guy that's bisexual. Tell her you wanna arrange to let a guy fuck you in the ass as she rides you and you'll go from being a 5/10 in her eyes to a 8/10. I just blew the hugest load in my life while fucking my girl's ass and sucking her cousin's cock. Told her to stroke him onto my face as I was pulverizing her ass.

It's worth it robots. Just make out with a guy, post video of it to your story on Snapchat, start hitting up sluts.
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I thought I saw my cousin spreading her pussy and asshole on Had to go to Facebook for comparison. I was really hoping it wasn't her. I don't think it was. I haven't seen cuzz since 2018, but she didn't have any tattoos as far as I remember. She was a cheerleader for an NFL team, I hope she wouldn't stoop this low.
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if you put your mouth anywhere near a girls pussy, your'e a beta cuckold who can't even pleasure a woman with his dick alone.
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Do all pornstars have mental health problems?
Just from looking at most porn stars it seems like they have some kind of mental issues. Many of them literally look unstable and insecure. Even some of the supposed alpha BBC ones just look "off" like they have deep-rooted emotional issues or might even be homosexual.

How are the statistics on this?
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Jawlets, why dont you just start mewing?
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Command the respect you deserve for you and your protege destroy the beguiler and the snide
crush them irrespective of ego the don't tolerate the writer any longer or the mock or mimic destroy your blinder and smarmy expect respect.

the girl that prods the dog because she knows its tied down have her mauled it is sense it is beauty .
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What kind of music do NEETs listen to?
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Being tall sucks. I'm sick and tired of people asking me if I, play basketball, how the weather is "up there" and asking me to reach high shelves for them
2 images | 33 replies
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What's life like when you look like this?

How many sexual partners do you think he could every day?
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You are a man, nothing more.

Take away your hobbies, your clothing, your environment and go stand naked in a field. Who are you? You're not special or unique because you play the piano and like quavers. You're not interesting because you've read Kant. You are no one. You are nothing. You are one of billions, one of many disposable lives of equally worthless value. You are, in the eyes of the universe, no different than the thousands of bugs you've trampled in your life. When did you ever see a worm and waste even a millisecond thinking about how the worm was unique? Your intelligence, consciousness and sense of self are not real.

These things exist only in your mind, they're a product of pattern seeking, nothing more. You're no more closer to the truth of the universe than a dog is, you've just deluded yourself into thinking you are because of the layers upon layers of patterns you and the rest of humanity has conjured to make sense of reality. Humans are incapable of objective observation or judgement, our senses are not objective, our memory is not objective. Stop wasting your time deluding yourself, stop wasting your time trying to stand out, stop wasting your time on things that don't really exist. Money, power, fame,'s all a mirage. The earth in your palm, that's real. The clouds in the sky, that's real. The birds in the trees, that's real. Nothing in society is real, nothing in society will make you content. You are a man, nothing more.
10 images | 52 replies
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How the fuck do I know what I want to do in my life?
I spend my time having these fantasies but whenever i apply myself towards these fantasies i never seem to enjoy what i'm doing.
I seem to dislike doing everything including doing nothing so what the fuck am i meant to do?
It's not that i can't apply myself but how the fuck do i know what to apply myself to?
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>curious about what my penis size is since I've never measured it before
>do so
>it's 8 inches
>tell one of my gay friends about it
>he's never shown any attraction to me but now he's constantly hitting on me and telling me he wants my penis
>I'm not gay, but I kind of like the attention so I won't tell him to stop
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Why haven't you embraced being a goblin yet? You're more likely to get a wife that way. It's a much easier way of living, you just don't lie and leave everything out on the table, then someone can decide if they truely want to be with you or not. You'll have nothing to hide, and your relationship will be stronger because she already accepted who you are to begin with.
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I can't even watch anime anymore
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I'm seriously crazy about a co-worker of mine. We tease each other a lot and she's always really sweet to me, so MAYBE there's something. Then again, she acts the same towards another male co-worker, so I'm pretty sure there isn't anything.

Anyway. Has /r9k/ ever asked a co-worker out? Please share your stories, good or bad.
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if you were stranded in the middle of nowhere with a dog with absolutely no means of getting food, would you eat the dog to survive?
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>Ross "I'm kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise"

>Joey "Whoa, for like months?"

>Ross "Five, to be lying, six"

>Joey "Six months? Whoa that's rough"

>Ross "Please help me, I have a date tonight and it has to go well. I'm scared for my health"

Fuck lads imagine going six months without sex, that's rough. Do people actually go this long?
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100% cringe
So pretty much ultra-virgin, all my attempts to have a gf have failed miserably. I asked one of my (female) friends to try to hook me up with somebody, no results so far. Then:
>ships me with a new classmate
>she's not attractive
>seems insufferable so far
>probably just a fucking turbo-autist like me
>although she is smart and will follow a STEM degree
>also probably does not search for any relationship
But because this certain friend (and then others) have began to make this into a meme, it got inside my head and I CAN'T GET RID OF THIS SHIT AAAAAAAAAA! This attempt is going to probably fail miserably and if so, I'll get to become the joke of the class. I'm already pretty unpopular, please talk me out of this!
>inb4 underage b&, normalfag, etc.
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How do I have a feminine body without taking hrt? I really dont wanna have a big square body going into my 30s I wanna have a beautiful toned curvy body
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Time to talk about the Hungarian Parliament Building and why it is so awesome.
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r9k haircuts
So as most slavs I have II pattern. Usually I keep them shoulder long because I can cover a little bit the baldness. Today I went to a hairdresser and she told me they're very thin and I'd look better if she cut them short. I told her I'm kinda worried since I'm balding but she told me there's still far more time before that.
Lying stupid fucking bitch, I should have never cut my hair.
1 images | 9 replies
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I'm self-conscious about:
>the way I talk
>the way I walk
>the way I stand
>the way I bend
>the way my face rests
>the way I sit
>every physical feature of my body

Is there a way to stop this constant self-judgement?
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What should I do?
I had this date couple days ago with a girl. She was really shy but really nice and we laughed a lot. I think she is into me. She is on the heavier side which is okay I guess. Gonna bring her to do some sport eventually.
Anyways I'm a total autist and was suprised it went so well. We gonna meet again on Saturday but I dont know what the fuck I should do like where to go and if I should kiss her?
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I was set up on a double date with a robot by my extremely religious co-worker. How do robots expect to get a girlfriend is your life is filled with nothing.
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This is our board now.
t. tradwife
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>spend entire session at university thinking and articulating my thought
>can't do it
>say nothing
>go home
was it autism?
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Teacher? Anon said a cuss!
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>Come on anon, weve been friends since grade school and I know youre a virgin... I swear I wont tell anyone.

If one of your friends became a waifish trap with a bubble butt, would you use it?
6 images | 34 replies
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i've been in multiple imaginary relationships in the past 6 months just get out of my head AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh
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im convinced phrenology is true. I have a small head and im a brainlet.
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What's the point of losing weight if you're still ugly?
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Who has been to a birthday party? What has it been like? (not kiddie parties)
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Black Anons
Your adult son or daughter brings home a white partner, what do you say?
1 images | 8 replies
rate the decades you have lived in
horthy sad
>optimism and hope for the future
>great leaps in technology and economy unless you're from eastern bloc or japan
>early 2000's
>birth of the internet
>even greater leaps in technology
>booming economy until 2008
>still optimism and hope for the future
>early on it starts out really good
>but in 2015 it starts getting bad
>2016 it gets worse
>and for every year after 2016 it gets badder
>2020, a new decade
>climate goes ballistic after decades of scientists warning that it'll go to shit if we do not do anything about it
>coronavirus will decimate the world economy
>politics going to hell ever since 2016 more radicalization and no more cooperation in politics
>climate will get worse in the coming years
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hitting rock bottom would be awful but it feels extraordinarily free 2 inches from the ground
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Femanon here. Men should work out, no girl wants a weak girly man. I dont dont date guys who dont work out and neither do most girls. Sorry not sorry.
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What do?
I know this is some cringey shit but here we go..

So i've been fucking this girl casually for the
past month and we overall have a good vibe in person and when texting. We have convo's pretty much every day and sometimes they get a little sexualized, usually initiated by me. The thing is that sometimes she leaves short responses, pull the convo in another direction or don't use a heart emoji when i do. It leaves me wondering if she finds it weird or if she is trying to signal that she is losing interest. Here is an example from today
>Have ironic convo about me coming over with a belt
>she responds "Kinky"
>I say ironically "hit me with that belt mami" ironically
>"One day you are gonna be the death of me"
>I reply "I'll make sure of it" with a kiss smiley
>she responds "I think i'm gonna take a nap"
>i reply "I would do that too if i had to listen to my shit, good napping"
This shit confuses the hell out of me and makes me feel like i'm creeping her out or something. The weird thing is that we've had these ironic convo's laying in bed together and then she seemed to find it funny. Should i stop doing this? pls help me bro's
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would you rather have a gf that was:
>extremely small and fragile (so much so that you had to be careful you didn't hurt her)
>a girl who was stronger than you and didn't realise her own strength
they are otherwise identical
14 images | 38 replies
Who here /comfy/ following pandemic panic?
Im so glad normalfags will finally get btfo for enforcing their disgusting agenda for many years. All the delusional, lying, selfmasturbatory, loud and obnoxious roasties and roastie enablers will get to taste their own medicine all at once in such a short time.
>it's just a cold bro
>stop being racist to chinkoid goverment bro
>live love life and travel around the world bro
>refugees welcome bro
Cant wait to archive the timeline of their reactions, right before their demise from this pitiful earth.
2 images | 4 replies
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For the last 3-4 months I have been catfishing a girl. We both developed feelings for each other and yesterday everything came to a head and instead of admitting that I was a liar, I told her I just stopped liking her.

This has made her very upset and I wish there was something i could do. I have cried countless tears about this and I just want to admit it all to her but I know it wont matter because she might even be more hurt by me being a fake. I also dont want to risk any legal problems for myself if she goes to the police

Should I come clean and tell her? or just let her be sad and get over my own sadness?

I wish I was dead.
1 images | 10 replies
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How come you mock guys like this as wimpy beta cucks yet the women themselves always find them appealing to be around and say they are "fun" and "sweet" and love cuddling them? I guarantee this guy is thought of very highly by all her female friends and is very popular with women in general. These nice guy types always seem to have a girlfriend. I mean these men are never single. They are not exactly great looking and don't exhibit masculine traits yet they always have a girlfriend? doesn't that prove women do care about personality?
4 images | 44 replies
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Getting a girlfriend is easy, bro!
You just gotta take her on a date or two and have sex with her. She'll be yours in no time.

...Works for me!
6 images | 138 replies
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