>NO! It's important that I devalue the suffering of others so that I get all sympathy!

Bro, who cares. It's complete wasted effort. People have roughly the same amount of sympathy for lonely men as they do lonely women.
You can spend all day making up clever arguments for why your life is harder and why you deserve more sympathy, but people only have so much emotional energy to spare. Like there are homeless people and people starving in Africa and shit, and the average joe only has the reserves to give a quick "Aww, that's kind of sad. :( good luck" to basically just about everyone.
Just forget about scrounging together sympathy. It's like getting blood from a stone. Just enjoy the sympathy you get and leave it there. Because as soon as they hear all this "woe is me" shit, they start to shut down and withhold their sympathy.
That's just how it is.

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i really don't mind that women have it so easy, that they have absolutely everything handed to them on a silver platter, that they will never…