>>33702748
>What makes you so sure
It's a psychological Catch 22
I wouldn't enter into a relationship with someone that wasn't at least decent and capable of being loving
But odds are if they do end up being loving and decent I would probably start seeing them in a very good light making me think it's too good for me
You combine that up with 20 years of women's choices and actions showing and not just telling you “You are not being good enough”, except for once maybe
That's a hard mental prison to break out of even if it is self-made, it's reinforced by the outside as well
>I'm sure you're someone's cup of tea
I have many romantic inclinations but I'm also a pragmatist, that's not really how life works out, there are certain things that are just universally desired and revolted
The story isn't totally negative, I did get an opportunity
One that I knew even at the time I could have turned into something much more than it was
I am at fault for that falling through my fingers
How and when certain people get these kind of opportunities is very different than others, some of us almost never get these opportunities or maybe only once in a lifetime
At least in my case I knew at the time what kind of opportunity it was
I let it pass up because I told myself I didn't want to hurt her, or have her squander herself on me because I was also utterly terrified of being a complete miserable disappointment to her
After all I told myself I truly didn't know what the hell I was doing
At the very least I come away from this mistake of mine bestowed with a healing kindness that I don't think anyone would expect themselves capable of
>Sometimes I think
Odds are you're not as an unfortunate individual as myself, you've probably had more adventures/misadventures more than me
Everything sometimes feels contradictory but don't pass up a good opportunity ever, same time use your head it's often a lot easier to see my toxic stuff before it really gets nasty

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has anyone ever gotten a relationship from here? this place seems pretty hopeless for a straight guy