I was afraid. You are told, somewhat reluctantly - again, reluctance seemed to be directed at herself rather than at you. Towards yourself you felt she was worried you would feel betrayed.

Afraid... of the enemy?

Yes. Laurentia says. I wanted to do my best to help you, and the way to shape the terrain for you seemed something I was perfectly suited for. But it takes a lot of strength that I cannot replenish without exposing myself to... to the world.

And the underlying corruption, you add to yourself. But it was not the fear of her own corruption she was referring to...

No... no, it was my fear of confronting the Enemy directly. That I would fall and turn against you and your cause. That I would fail. That... I would watch you fail. Again, a pause, though this time there was not much left of the struggle as she seems to have come to terms with her self-assessment. I have felt that if I gave myself trying to do what I could do best, then if it meant I'd be spared all this... perhaps it would be for the best.

So that was what it was. She was fine with fading away, rather than face the uncertain outcome and possibility of having her hopes crushed once again.

You couldn't hide from yourself, or her, that the sentiment did bite you somewhat. Although you'd like to think it was because you were bothered by idea of losing a friend this way, rather than from indignance at her assessment of your chances.

After all, you yourself knew that in purely mechanical terms, odds were stacked heavily against you. When you set out, you had hardly an idea of where and how to proceed past some immediate steps you could take - and a reason to do so.

You thought back to what had moved you in the first place. That spark of light bequeathed to you by your parents, joined by flickers of hope you saw in eyes of your comrades.

You kept that spark close to your heart. Even if you were to fall and fail, you would do so sheltering its flickering warmth, knowing you did what was in your power and more besides.

At the same time, could you begrudge Laurentia for feeling the way she did? Would you have felt the way you did if you had endured what she did?

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The Dogbusters' March 15