>>62885588
>be ayyy representative of intergalactic empire
>find primitive planet called "soil" by the locals
>abduct primitives for conquest suitability evaluation
>primitives are exceptionally physically robust and strong, they are well suited to manual labor
>initial tests seem promising
>advance to next degree of evaluation
>~50% of test subjects violently resist evaluation
>~30% of test subjects attempt to seduce and copulate with evaluation technicians
>~20% of test subjects try to forcibly copulate with evaluation technicians
>send in genetically engineered abominable beasts to subdue test subjects
>~10% of test subjects still attempt to copulate with beasts, often by force and with a high success rate
>cancel all further testing
>send message to imperial command that we've found the ancient prophesied planet of demons and advise that the whole sector should be blacklisted and quarantined
>commit ritualistic an-hero by deliberately crashing ship into nearest star while reciting dirge to the ancient gods

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when did you realize humanity doesn't stand a chance? alien invasion will put us back into caves/underground or straight up wipe us out.…