>>61435736
>>61411058
>A visiting officer from the War office noticed one particular instructor, a middle-aged man, who seemed to have masterly powers. He turned to the accompanying L.D.V. officer:
>That one of your people?
Yes sir.
>Looks as if he's done some soldiering before.
Yes sir.
>Knows his job.
Yes sir.
>What was he?
Regimental Sergeant Major, Grenadier Guards.

>On one occasion a visiting Brigadier observed a lengthy row of ribbons on the chest of a Private soldier volunteer. He stopped in front of him and said somewhat patronizingly: "Well, my man, you seem to have seen a lot of fighting. Tell me, my man, which campaign did you enjoy most?" The private thought for a moment and then said: "I think, sir, it was the one in which I was second in command to Allenby"

>In one particular Battalion the Explosives Officers is a tall, powerful, rosy-cheeked parish minister. He is equally at home with the Old Testament or new grenades, and his parishioners have sometimes been seen to hold their breath while their spiritual adviser plays about negligently with guncotton and instantaneous fuse.

>In the early days we had orders to stop everybody we saw after dark on the Downs and ask for their identity cards. On our first night we came across a couple in a car and as they stole away on the approach of our armed party our leader held them up, demanded their id cards, and said to the man: "Do you know you have been in a prohibited area?" "No, he hasn't!" snapped the girl.

>One tough little fellow who had lost his son at Dunkirk turned up at every patrol with a Ghurka knife which as a memento of the last war. This was in a mining village in Lancashire.

>A farmer claimed he would require no training whatsoever; as having gone out to face a mad bull alone and having killed it with his first shot, he was quite capable of dealing with any Jerry within sight.

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Any books specifically for funny, bizarre of or otherwise wacky instances which happened in wars?