>>32769800
>I should be repaying them by excelling academically.
Nah, school/uni isn't everything. Grades aren't as important as you think. You won't get tested in how well you read books in real life.

>I have crippling anxiety.
Reading your post, I'd say your problem isn't the anxiety, but a lack of direction. You're not focused, you can't put in the effort you feel like you should be able to, and that makes you anxious.

Given your situation, and the current job market in general, you'd be fucked in the head if you didn't have anxiety.
University does a poor job of preparing you for your working life. Deep down everyone knows this, but few will acknowledge it, especially not the boomers, who grew up when university actually was enough. It's not.

Know what skills I have gotten most out of? Arguing with retards online, researching and using statistics to prove my case. Fucking around in excel was more useful than many of the classes i took. The second best one is social skills I picked up from talking to the alcoholics at bars, they're usually extreme people, so you learn a lot about how different people can be from them. And they have a lot to say about how not to fail in life. Very useful.

You have no idea how many "smart" people spend their youth with their nose in a book to get good grades, and therefore have 0 real life experience. And I mean 0. They have no idea how to interact with people outside of a school setting, they have no understanding of responsibility, they act like their boss is a teacher and everything they do at work is homework. The better the grades, the worse this gets.
That's not a good employee. They're literal trash as leaders. Won't get anywhere in life.

You already know what to do, pay a little less attention to the school work. Go talk to people. Get your health in order. Stop seeing that shitty psychiatrist and shop around for a new one.

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Help! How do I fix my life?