>partner
A man? How's that going? Obviously a good relationship will help you and a bad one will hurt; if you've got a good one or at least something halfway there then that's a great start.
>physically disabled
How bad is it? Are you able to exercise at all? Something like yoga would probably do you more good than the gym, if you can handle it, and the calming mindset it promotes could help you mentally/emotionally.
>im trying to get ssi and its brrn such a long process , i have to rely on my mom for phone calls and appointments becaus ei just. cannot make call peopel or drive
I know what a pain that process can be even when you have the focus and energy for it; my condolences. Are things okay between you and your mom? Do you trust her? A friend of mine is similarly stuck, and his mother has total control over his finances and gets the last work on anything formal, which has nearly destroyed him as she's a cruel woman.
There's a lot you're going through that I can't help with; good luck with everything. But little things like fitting in more physical activity where possible and improving diet and sleep can go a long way toward making things not quite so bad. If you have access to benzodiazepines, those are good and sometimes necessary for panic cases; they're not ideal for longer-term use but could be a lifesaver for someone like you.

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what to do?