>be me
>only compliments I've received all my life were being called "cute" and the like
>recently at work a customer (who was probably 3x my age) was complimenting me calling me cute
>I'm feeling somewhat emasculated from being called this
>ffw to today
>I come home after church, take off my pants and put on a nice long soft shirt, take a couple pictures of myself, start having gay thoughts

Why am I like this? Honestly, I have so much self-loathing for being like this. I don't know, it's like I was raised to think all of this is bad yet it feels so good, it feels good to be called cute by people and to wear soft things and to have soft plump skin. Everytime I shake someone's hand at church they always say things like "oh wow how are your hands so soft?" (I put lotion on after showering since I have mild eczema). I know this sounds so contradictory, I hate being emasculated, I want to be considered handsome, sexy, hot, but I feel all warm and gooey inside when people call me cute and feminine things

Be honest, do I need help?

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/adv/

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is there something wrong with me?