>dad sexually abused me years as a kid/teenager
>also hated me for being shit at sports and an uncoordinated, timid spaz, signed me up for basketball, baseball, soccer, and football, all of which were humiliating experiences. I had to beg him, on my knees and in tears, to not force me to play.
>eventually move and end contact with him
>haven’t spoken with him since, nor have I responded to his attempts to reach out, except for a rage-fueled text message I sent him telling him I constantly thought about killing myself, partially because of what he did to me
>brother is getting married later this year, and our dad will be there
>99.9% certain he’s going to try and engage with me at the wedding
>I’m an anxious mess prone to having public and embarrassing meltdowns, especially in the last few years
Has anyone ever had a similar experience? Any ideas on how to mentally prepare to see/speak with him again? I’ve come up with a lot of strategies about preparing to shut him down if he tries to engage, but I don’t know what he’s going to try, or how I’m going to react. I haven’t told my mom or brother about the extent of what he did because I’m afraid to embarrass myself that much, and I also don’t want to be disappointed if my brother invites him anyway, knowing what he did to me.

Back | Go to board

Board:

/adv/

Thread:

Brother is getting married, estranged, abusive father will be in attendence