>Pessimist philosopher: Life is suffering. Life is evil. The only responsible act to take in life is to end it.
>Normal person: OK, so are you going to e-
>Pessimist philosopher: Furthermore, even writing about philosophy is futile. There is no purpose to anything. The only purpose of life... is to end...
>Normal person: O..OK, so are you going to d-
>Pessimist philosopher: That is why I've decided to publish yet another book, "For an End to Everything."
>Normal person: Oh, so you were just polishing off your final statement on the matter? That makes sense, I guess.. So are you going to k-
>Pessimist philosopher: And please sign up for my podcast, "Life Isn't Worth Living." If you sign up for Platinum membership, you get access to all 458 episodes, extending back to 2014.
>Normal person: I guess I just don't see the p-
>Pessimist philosopher: I've recently begun work on a new book. This will be my final, FINAL statement on why human striving, morality, and even pleasure are meaningless, and why you should never do anything, even write books, you should ONLY kill yourself immediately. Pre-order now at $34.99!

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Why do pessimistic philosophers have so much to say than optimistic ones?