>>41032933
>Be anon
>Out on a leisurely stroll through the woods on a Sunday
>Birds chirping, gentle breeze
>Breddy good day
>Gets better when you find a wicked long stick
>Straight as a rod
>Damn near five foot long
>Thing’s fucking sweet
>Take it as a walking stick
>By mid afternoon you begin making your way back to town
>You come around a bend in the trail and spot Linky smelling a wild flower
>Wave you arm at her and shout a hello
>Voice cracks half way through and you make a weird sound instead
>beta as fuck
>Linky looks at you and then turns to leave
>Damn, struck out again
>You both make your way back to Ponyville but your longer strides makes it so you quickly close the distance between you
>Linky looks back at you and picks up the pace
>That’s weird
>It’s like she saw something
>You look back but can’t see anything
>A little while later she does it again before beginning to trot
>Again, you look back but don’t see anything
>But if Linky’s scared, there has to be something out there you’re just not seeing
>You begin to jog after her
>Just as the two of you are about to escape the woods she breaks into a dead sprint
>You don’t even bother looking back
>If a talking pony’s scared, you’re scared
>You sprint with all you have, raising your new stick off the ground to run better
>As you get within mere feet of her she trips
>”Help! The green ape is hunting me! Hes going to toss a spear at me and cook me for lunch! Help somepony help! I’m too young to be put between two slices of bread and eaten!”
>Holy shit!
>You’re being hunted!
>Linky scrambles to her feet but she’s too slow and you begin to overtake her
>You may be a coward, but there’s no way you’re going to let a defenseless mare get eaten
>Without many options, your tard brain takes over and tries to find a way to encourage her to speed up
>As you get right behind her you shout
“Is that as fast as you can run?”

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>Help! The green ape is hunting me! Hes going to toss a spear at me and cook me for lunch! Help somepony help! I’m too young to be put between two…